Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Children are a blessing from God

My life changed forever about one week ago: April 20, 2011

I woke from a dream last night. Or it might have been a nightmare – I don’t know because I only remember one part. There was a huge pink or red plus sign right in front of my face. In my dream I screamed “Aaah!!” because I knew what it meant – “You are pregnant.” It woke me only for a moment and I thought, “That was so weird…” and I fell back asleep.

In the morning, remembering the image of that big pink plus sign, I reminded myself that dreams are images and thoughts that happen because of things that happened the previous days or because of subconscious thoughts and emotions. I was planning on taking a pregnancy test the next morning so that had to be why. Though… a voice in the back of my head reminded me that God sometimes uses dreams to speak to His people… but I wasn’t getting my hopes up.

I checked the clock – 6:58 a.m. I quickly hopped out of bed and went downstairs into the bathroom to take the test. I sat and audibly counted out two minutes before I could read the results. Thoughts raced through my mind even though I tried to prevent them from getting my hopes up. We’d only been trying about three months (well, four counting this month!) and I know sometimes it takes years. Despite not wanted to disappoint myself, my thoughts went a little something like: “Who will I tell first? My mom, then Jon’s mom, definitely.” “Will I look pregnant at Amanda and Jeff’s wedding?” “Will it be a boy or a girl?” “So, when does that mean I have to leave work for maternity leave?” “When would I tell my boss and everyone else?”

Two minutes of thinking like that goes by quickly. I stood up and nervously leaned over to peek at the stick. My eyes might have been playing tricks on me, but I thought I saw two lines there. A closer look and, yes, one line in the spot where the instructions said there will always be a line, and another line in the spot where the instructions said it means I am pregnant. Somewhat not believing and somewhat in shock I walked quickly upstairs, thinking Jon was still sleeping, but he wasn’t in bed. So, I went back downstairs and went into the kitchen where I found him taking his medicine, his back turned toward me. I quietly asked, “Jon? When does Kulick’s open?” He turned around and said, “Umm, I don’t know… probably not this early… Why?” Taking the pregnancy test stick from behind my back, I said, “Well, cause I think I need to get another one of these….. to make sure..” The smirk on my face cleared up any confusion and Jon said, “Really?!” to which I replied, “Uh huh… but I don’t want to hug you yet, because I don’t want to get our hopes up!” A feeling of nervousness and a twinge of fear came over me for a moment. Though we were trying to get pregnant, I was a little scared to find out that I was in fact pregnant! I told Jon and he said he was too a little… but the feeling didn’t last very long for either of us.

Jon had the idea to go to Rite-Aid, so I went online to see when they open: 8 a.m. Had to wait a ½ hour and be very late to work, but it was worth it. We went to Rite-Aid to get another pregnancy test. I wanted the battery-powered ones that say “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”. Clear and to-the-point! No confusion! Tell me straight! Same routine as before, but this time for the last 30 seconds I watched the stick as the hourglass blinked on and off. Then all of a sudden… “Pregnant.”

Wow! So, it was for real… I knew it was, but I was still in a bit of shock and disbelief – so there was no jumping up and down until much later in the day. I came out of the bathroom and showed Jon the results. 

We smiled, kissed and hugged each other tight. 

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