Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done

This song broke me down in my car on the way home tonight. Thank you Jesus for using music to reach my heart. It's so beautiful and it's amazing that You know what methods to use and you use what you know will reach a particular person. Some people may not be moved by music, maybe they are moved by the sight of the sunset over an ocean or by reading a poem or by a simple act of kindness; whatever it is, You know what reaches our hearts and You use them just at the right time. Your timing is perfect.

I am continually in awe of the fact that You, who can see the past, present and future all at the same time (a billion years is like the blink of an eye for You) - that you still SEE our hearts and KNOW us and CARE, even though we are here today and gone tomorrow. We came from dust and we return to dust in the blink of an eye, and YET, You LOVE us and You know our name - You call us by our name!!! And we can call You by name and You HEAR us and have compassion for us ♥

Note from person who created video:
"The bible verse at the end is incorrect! Wow...I feel bad. It's actually Psalm 143:5"
Lyrics for
"Who Am I?" by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Distraction & "Nothing to write about"

T.V. is off. All is quiet. (...with the exception of my cat cleaning herself... be quiet Maddie!) The pain of my toothache is dulled and therefore my earache pain has also dulled. I think I am distraction free??... ... great, the cat just climbed into the back of the couch. Ugh. I'll just ignore it even though I should be trying to get her out... Trying to write a blog post here! ;)



Lord, life is so full of distractions! Help me keep my eye on You. Ashamed to say that it's very often that I feel like Peter, climbing out onto the water, only to take my eyes off Jesus when I realize "I'm not supposed to be able to walk on water!!" and then I begin to sink, just like he did. O' we of little faith... Why do we take our eyes off Him when we know the outcome is a mouthful of salty water?!

I really want to a write a blog post every day, but it seems like I always find an excuse to distract me -- by the way, I pray that I don't write any posts in my fashion blog until I have written a post on this blog that same day.

Sometimes there's just a mental block (or a heart block?!) when I try writing here.

Many days I think that I won't have anything to write about and I don't want to write a post that has no substance to it... but the Spirit is making me realize right at this very moment that that's about the silliest thing I could ever say!! The Holy Spirit just brought some lyrics to my mind - from a song that we sang in church just this morning. I had never heard it before, but it was so full of truth and beauty. It basically says exactly the opposite of what I've been thinking/worrying about with this blog:

Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies
of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry,
Nor could the scroll
contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Thank you God for putting it all into perspective. It is NOT about ME!!!!! I have been thinking that I have nothing to write about because my life is basically, what some people might call, BORING! I very rarely have any of real excitement going on -- well what some people might consider excitement anyway... I go to work (new challenges, different day), come home, watch T.V., go on Facebook, blog a bit (not here as often as I should, but on my fashion blog), go to bed - rinse, repeat.

But this blog - again - is NOT about ME!!! I'm not sure when I started thinking that it IS about me, but that stops tonight! Maybe sometimes I even think that on days when "nothing" of spiritual significance has happened to me that I have nothing to write about, but those are the days that I should be writing so that I can think upon God and all His wonder and glory and I will see that when you have Christ in your heart, there is no such thing as a day that is devoid of spiritual significance!!

If I just dwell on those thoughts how could I ever, ever, EVER run out of things to write about?!!!

As the lyrics in this song so aptly put it: To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry.

Thank You Jesus ♥

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Through the day

I have lots of days where lots of things tend to go wrong (just like everyone else!!), but I rarely call the entire day a "rotten day" (although I know I did do this a couple weeks ago....), because I do truly believe that God makes each day and therefore NO day is ever really a "rotten" day. They are all GOOD because He made them:
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
Today though, was definitely one where I needed to just keep turning to God or I would have cried.. It's hard to "rejoice and be glad" in a day where it seems like everything is going wrong... like the world is against you!! I've just been feeling so much pressure at work and there are so many things I need to get done before I leave for San Diego on Monday (for business, not pleasure!)... It's just so hard to sit there working on something, knowing that there are so many other things I need to do also and half of them I can't even remember what they are because there's so much that it's just spilling out of my brain and I can't retain it all!!! phewwww.... breathe in the light, breathe out the darkness....

I'm so glad that I joined the Gratitude Community and I am doing the Multitude Monday challenge... it helps me to stay focused on the blessings. Like, for example, that I even have a job at all in this economy!! And that my boss really does care for me as a person first and an employee second... Oh, and even in the midst of my computer freezing on me multiple times today, the Spirit reminded me to stop and thank God that I have access to a computer and the internet at all!

So, thank you Lord for getting me through the day... I'm here, I'm alive, I'm saved... and that's all that matters.

Monday, September 6, 2010

I Smile

Multitude Monday: One Thousand Gifts, by A Holy Experience


God is so good. That small sentence has such enormous truth and meaning and comfort behind it. He is good, He is good, He is good.

I was feeling very down and dejected and insecure and UGLY this morning. Wishing I was as beautiful as a model and that I had awesome clothes and gorgeous, flowing, effortlessly-tousled hair. I know that sounds really shallow and petty, but... everyone's messed up in one way or another, so please don't judge me. My husband hugged me and tried to make me feel better, but it just wasn't working.

So I continued to sit cross-legged on our couch, wrapped up in Jon's sweatshirt, with the hood hanging low over my face, arm crossed, pout in full force, pathetically pitying myself and agreeing with the evil thoughts in my head, "You are not nearly as pretty as all the other women you see on fashion blogs, etc. You could never look that good." And on & on I listened to satan's lies. (By the way, Dear Spell Check, stop trying to make me capitalize the word satan. I just won't do it!!!)

Anyway... the alarm on my phone went off. Jon turned it off, read the calendar event on the phone and asked, "What's 'If my people'??" I said, "Ohh thanks, that's my reminder to pray for the 40 Day prayer campaign thing... sometimes I'll forget to pray if I don't remind myself... :-/"

Thanks God, for that very timely reminder :)

So. I turned my head up and began to pray: Thank You God, You are so good. Fill our home with Your Holy Spirit and let Your light shine through us. Lift me up O' Lord, lift up my spirit that I may face the day. And on & on I went... and He did as I asked.

Spirits lifted, I opened my eyes and grabbed the laptop with the intention of writing a blog post. I wanted to thank God for... being God and being faithful... and so I ran a google search on "Lift Me up O Lord" hoping to find a verse of scripture that I could base the blog on. I stumbled upon a blog called Daily Grace and at the bottom of the first post I read was a blog button that said "Walk with Him Wednesday". I thought, oh that's cool I should do that too, so I clicked through on the button {so that I could get the code to use it on my blog as well} and landed on the A Holy Experience blog... Hmm, I've been here before... Yes, I've stumbled across and have been blessed by this woman's words before, about a year or so ago... Anyway, at the bottom of her latest entry about Guatemala's poor and how the poorest people pay the highest price, she listed things that she was grateful for: a pillow at the end of the day, shoes, stable roads, electricity.... And at the end of that post, was another blog button, except this one said "Multitude Monday: One Thousand Gifts".

I smile. "Well. It's Monday... and I sure do have a multitude of things to be thankful for :) Let's do this."

So, from now on, every Monday will be Multitude Monday:

#1. First and foremost, above all else, Thank You God for being You. Your qualities are too many to list, more than I can even fathom, but You are Good, which I feel encompasses lots of qualities. We tend to think very lightly about the word "good" because we hear it so often throughout our day, but this tiny word is jam-packed full of GREAT meanings that all point to our Creator, King and Father. Some definitions of "good" are:  

full; morally admirable; having desirable or positive qualities; beneficial: promoting or enhancing well-being; of moral excellence; agreeable or pleasing; dependable; most suitable or right for a particular purpose; resulting favorably; appealing to the mind; capable of pleasing; superior to the average; satisfactory; worthy of respect; honorable; competent; skilled; complete; thorough; beneficial to health; valid or true; genuine; real; able to pay or contribute; able to elicit a specified reaction; upright; benevolent; kind; ample; substantial; bountiful; loyal; rich and fertile; not ruined or decayed; etc. etc. etc!!!

WOW!!! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!? HE IS SOO GOOD! Thank You Thank You Thank You God, for being YOU and for being GOOD!

I lift up Your Name O LORD, in honor and praise :) Love You with all my heart and soul and mind <3

Update: If you would like to join the Gratitude Community, please click here.
"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." John Milton