Saturday, August 21, 2010

Asleep at the Wheel

I don't know why I haven't written. At first I had the excuse that I was getting married and on my honeymoon, but I have been avoiding this moment for the past two months...

I have felt guilty about it; I have a quick link to Blogger in my Bookmark Menu Bar and at night when I am online doing completely mindless things like going on Facebook and creating fashion designs on Looklet.com, I will look up and see that bookmark and think, "I know, I knowwww.. but.. maybe tomorrow".

I think I haven't written because I have been feeling asleep in my faith... Asleep at the wheel and driving along in life blindly without asking God for directions... when really I should just be letting him drive!

But I was reading some Proverbs tonight and several of them are about laziness and, I dont know, I just.. didn't think too much about it so I didn't have the chance to talk myself out of it (or conveniently let myself get distracted!) and double-clicked on the Blogger bookmark.

I need Jesus so badly in my life right now. There isn't anything devastating going on in my life or anything like that, but I feel under attack from satan (yes, I know that is a pronoun and should be capitalized, but the devil doesn't deserve capitalization). I don't know why, but I was feeling very depressed last month and now this month I've been very angry. On top of that I haven't even attempted to pro-actively protect myself against satan. I haven't gone to church all summer and I haven't read the Bible in the past few months. I have been - for quite some time now - the epitome of laziness.

My hope is that I start blogging again almost every day, even if it is very short. Maybe I can focus on specific verses or I can write out my weekly Bible study "answers" that I've been meaning to do ever since I bought my Women in Faith Bible 7 years ago...!!

In conclusion, I will leave you with some insightful information I got from a website (linked down below) that describes laziness (as portrayed in Proverbs) so truthfully that I feel so ashamed and sorry for every time I have ever acted lazy. I'm sorry Jesus, You deserve so much more... and at the risk of sounding corny for quoting this song:

And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life


I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight


Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own


I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on


Oh Jesus, take the wheel

Laziness <=> Folly and Shame
Laziness <=> Wise in one's own eyes
Laziness <=> Unfulfilled Needs and Desires
Laziness <=> Doesn't prize his possessions
Laziness <=> Cowardice and Excuses

    Prov 26:15 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish.
    He is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.
    Prov 19:15 Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep.
    The idle soul shall suffer hunger.

    *Be sure to check out the link above and read the questions at the end for some self-evaluation...

    Forgive me LORD. Thank you for Your mercy & love,
    Jenn

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